Anecdotes of Alzheimer’s Antics Vol 1 - Overlooked Absurdities
My philosophy to an Alzheimer’s diagnosis.
I believe a person has two options. Choose to laugh or choose to cry.
Although both appropriate,
Happening #1
Looking back I now know that this was the first sign of something amiss with my mom. It came out of nowhere and caught me so off guard as my mom was so serious and adamant about what she says she saw. So I get a call from my mom while I’m at work to tell me that there is a white pickup truck out in our horse pasture. She was a little scared but more pissed that someone was trespassing. I could hear her yelling at them that she had her gun and was not afraid to use it. I made her go inside but she said they left when she went back outside just a mere 20 seconds later. My mom was never one to cry wolf or invent things for any reason so even though I was baffled I told her I would check as soon as I got home.
The horse pasture probably consists of 3 1/2 to 4 acres of the 5 acres she owns. It’s outside of town and the horse pasture is fully fenced, with the only way being a gate that was at the rear of the property. You can only get to it by driving by the front of the house and thru the barn. And of course be aware that there was even a gate down there. So I rush home worried that some Texas Chainsaw styles hillbilly has been harassing my mom for reasons unknown. I get suited up to walk in the horse pasture, necessary because it’s been awhile since there were horse in there and the cactus and rattlesnakes had reclaimed their rightful land. It was dark so, flash light in hand, I begin by walking the fence line for signs of any nefarious entry. After getting my ass handed to me by hundreds of prickly pears and mesquites I confirmed the fence was still intact. Since it was dark, and my mom kept yelling for me to “Watch for Snakes 🐍” every 30 seconds or so, I made the executive decision to resume searching in the morning. [FYI, “Watch for Snakes 🐍” is her most favorite warning and has become a family favorite.]
The next morning there she is at my bedside, waking me up to pick up where left off last night. I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!!!! Everyone knows this, but I also know that she is unbearably persistent. Up I get, suit up again in my anti skin piercing foliage gear I have assembled and returned to the crime scene to investigate. I walked the fence line again, still no signs of entry. The odd and still unexplained thing I saw was several areas that appears to have had the plant life crushed or flattened, as of something had traversed through. These were sporadic and I couldn’t explain them as they were two wide for wildlife and also no track. Now it had not rained in sometime so that’s not particularly telling. What I did NOT see was any tracks anywhere near the gate and once outside the horse pasture it is grass and tire tracks should have left some sign of passage. Nothing was taken or messed with in anyway, nothing in view that anyone would consider worth stealing. And the property is off the beaten path, not at all located to where a passerby might notice it. Even navigation systems can’t find it accurately.
I didn’t know what to think, maybe the neighbors? They do a lot for my mom and have in the past kept horse in her pasture and pigs in her barn. Checked with them, that was an embarrassing dead end conversation. Maybe one of her step kids? But they would have come to the door or absolutely spoke up when she threatened to shoot them - and that theory was really grasping at straws. My mother was so insistent that she knew what she saw, the details of her story never changed and I had no reason to question it. We all joked that she needed her eye checked or that maybe she had a contact high. (My brother has a RX for medicinal marijuana) Chalked it up to a funny isolated incident.
Happening #2
As covered in a previous post, my mother has an abundance of porch kitties This is prior to her acquisition and following imprisonment of Midnight. To set the scene; I had my friend Tamera in the car with me, and she had only met my mom briefly at this point. She is in the backseat of my car sitting behind my mom so I could see her in my rear view mirror but my mom could not. I can’t remember why I was picking my mom up or where we were going but my mother went on to vent about the porch kitties, she was mad and had to get it off her chest because they were “ignoring her”. Here is a slightly paraphrased account of what she had to say....
“I am so pissed at those damn porch kitties ! They will not listen to me. I tell them not to leave the porch, but what do the f**king bas**rds do? They leave the porch!!! And then those little bastards go too fast and PushPop cannot kept up with them. (PushPop is the runt) They know how small he is and they should not be ostracizing him. They are going hurt his feelings! What the f**k are they thinking? They must be stupid. And mean, to leave little PushPop behind. They should be waiting for him. They’re bigger and should know better. And they are not even allowed to leave the porch anyway. WHY WON’T THEY LISTEN TO ME. I love them and fed them. Ungrateful bastards”
This went on with her repeating it on a loop the entire drive. I am trying to reason with her - pointless I know because this was a completely unrealistic expectation she had regarding the feral cats that mostly hang out on her porch. She feeds them, gives them water, blankets and little dens to keep warm. If I were a feral cat, I would do the same. I tried explaining that they are country kitties, born in the wild and live in the wild and most importantly that they are CATS and cannot understand anything she is saying to them. And cats would not care anyway. This is about a 30 minute rant from my that only ends when the car ride is over. All the while, my friend Tamera that I mentioned being able to see in my rear view, was laughing so hard with her makeup running down her face. She is desperately trying to be silent but the giggling hysteria is catching. After my mom gets out of the car Tamera asks me if we were pranking her? I told her know, she genuinely believes that they should listen to her. My mom can’t pull off a prank for more then 10 seconds before giving herself away by laughing. (She stills call every April Fools Day to tell me she has won the lottery. I am not the only recipient of this yearly phone call. My mom thinks this is hilarious 🤣)
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| PushPop |
In retrospect, I should have seen this as something more that an amusing idiosyncrasy that was born out of boredom and isolation. And just so you know, she is still trying to get the porch kitties to obey her and they continue their commitment to being rule breaker’s.
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