Darkness has a hunger that's insatiable, and lightness has a call that's hard to hear.

 

Newtons Third Law: For every action there is a reaction. 

This is the foundation of any physics lessons you will ever receive. But it doesn't even scratch the surface of how the Universe actually maintains balance. No doubt your physics teacher made it seem as if the reaction to the aforementioned action is immediate, or at least close to it. 

If I have learned anything in my life, this is the most grievous overgeneralization of how the world works that was ever crammed down my throat in the name of education.  In particular, the universe has spent the past two years choking me with the knowledge of just how lackluster this law of nature was. This was consistently beaten into my developing cranium,  "supposedly" to be used to successfully navigate my life.

WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT  (sorry Dad) - WHAT A CROCK OF CORN!

Make no mistake about it, the Universe does maintain balance with all things. What a daunting task that must be. But the Universe is obviously not concerned one little bit about timeliness. Or maybe that is part of the life lesson. I have not been an angel for a lot of my life and have walked too far down the wrong path more times than I care to admit. But I paid dearly for my many mistakes and now I chose to walk the right path (or try to) and thought that my slate was clean. 

I have come to realize that the Universe clearly subscribes to the "revenge is best served cold" philosophy.

I have spent considerable energy, emotional and physical, to be a good person, to do the right thing, and to be there for those that matter to me. This effort on my part is either "too little too late" or just goes unnoticed by the Universe. Or some other mysterious agenda that life has in store for me. It's hard to stay on the right path when it brings me nothing but disappointment and further struggle. The other path is calling to me. I try to avoid it but it's so easily accessible, while the right path is small, hidden, and hard to find. 

Reminds me of one of my favorite song lyrics; "Darkness has a hunger that's insatiable, and lightness has a call that's hard to hear."

I desperately try to quiet my mind and listen to the Universe, but I am hard of hearing and the Universe only speaks in whispers.

I am at a crossroads, with a broken-down car that is blocking both paths. Metaphorically of course - except my car really is broken down and I actually am stuck with no options. There is no calvary on the way.

All comments and advice are welcomed, encouraged even. I am lost.